If you are having problems in your marriage, then you may be considering family counseling. Couples counseling, family counseling, and marriage counseling are terms that are often used interchangeably to describe counseling services that can benefit couples. If you have children, then they can be included in your counseling sessions if it is determined to be useful by your counselor. One thing that may make you hesitant to attend family counseling is the fear of the unknown, so knowing what to expect can help relieve your fears of attending much-needed counseling to help repair your relationship and help your family function well as a unit again.
One reason that family or couples counseling can be so effective is that it provides a neutral, unbiased mediator to help you solve problems in your relationship. When couples have discussions or argue on their own, they can quickly escalate and turn into arguments where voices are raised and no real solution is ever found to a problem. A counselor will serve as a mediator and help keep discussions of relationship problems civil. If a debate begins to escalate into a heated argument, the counselor will call out the person who may be acting unreasonable and help them state their opinion in a more constructive manner.
While it may sound simple when you hear it, a large reason that family counseling can be so successful is that the counselor allows each partner to state an opinion or feeling about a relationship problem without being interrupted. Counselors often use timers or other methods of time-control to allow one partner to speak freely about his or her feelings with absolutely no interruption by the other partner. Any couple that argues will know that voicing an opinion or feeling without interruption is very difficult without a third party enforcing this rule.
While helping to encourage a productive debate over a problem without interruption or outbursts can often lead to the ability of couples to finally work out agreements to their problems together, sometimes they simply cannot compromise or come to an agreement on their own. This is when the counselor will step in and offer what they feel are good solutions to the couple’s problems. The counselor may offer several solutions or compromises that a couple may have never thought of to a problem they have, and this can lead to “a-ha” moments where what was thought of as a complex problem turns out to have a simple solution.
While a good portion of the first family counseling sessions you and your partner attend may focus on problems that you both know exist and finding solutions to them, as the counselor gets to know both of you, he or she may notice problems in your relationship that both of you never knew existed. While this may sound scary at first, it is very beneficial to both you and your partner. While these problems may have not have been noticed by either of you, they may be a great cause of relationship tension under the surface of all problems that you are both aware of.
Common problems that lead to couples seeking family counseling in Norfolk NE include disagreements on how to raise the children, past infidelity in the relationship, and arguments over where and when money is spent. Some couples simply argue all the time over any and everything. Never feel embarrassed about sharing your problems with a counselor, because the odds are that they have seen the same problem before and will see it many more times in the future. The desired result of family counseling for couples is always to help the couple work out their problems and turn a stressful relationship into a happy and healthy one.